[Stop that. Stop using his own words against him. Not allowed, Di. Not allowed.
But this hug? He needs this hug. It doesn't make the ache in his chest go away, doesn't make it any easier to breathe, but it's a quiet, comforting reassurance that he's not alone right now. He needs the presence of another human being -- a friend, a good friend, one of the best friends he's ever had. There weren't a lot of people who would have stayed through all of this and the fact that she didn't leave means more to him than she'll ever know.
He can't stop himself from shaking, can't keep the terror and hurt and aching sadness and guilt out of his voice, can't stop the tears.]
Di... I... I can't...
Everything... everything felt right for once. I felt like I was home again and it was... It's been so long since somewhere felt like home and --
[he chokes back another sob, one that wracks his entire body -- gut wrenching and painful]
What... What am I supposed to do I can't --
What if she gets hurt, Di? What if this place, what if this fucking town, gets to her? What if she dies? What the fuck am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to keep her safe?
And... what if I wake up one day and she's gone...? Fuck.
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Date: 2011-11-19 05:21 am (UTC)But this hug? He needs this hug. It doesn't make the ache in his chest go away, doesn't make it any easier to breathe, but it's a quiet, comforting reassurance that he's not alone right now. He needs the presence of another human being -- a friend, a good friend, one of the best friends he's ever had. There weren't a lot of people who would have stayed through all of this and the fact that she didn't leave means more to him than she'll ever know.
He can't stop himself from shaking, can't keep the terror and hurt and aching sadness and guilt out of his voice, can't stop the tears.]
Di... I... I can't...
Everything... everything felt right for once. I felt like I was home again and it was... It's been so long since somewhere felt like home and --
[he chokes back another sob, one that wracks his entire body -- gut wrenching and painful]
What... What am I supposed to do I can't --
What if she gets hurt, Di? What if this place, what if this fucking town, gets to her? What if she dies? What the fuck am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to keep her safe?
And... what if I wake up one day and she's gone...? Fuck.